Ever felt like your taking the saying “stuck between a rock and a hard place” to a whole other level? Not a girl not yet a woman? (Love you Britney). You know those type of moods where you kinda want to work out, kinda want to get a garlic cheese chip, kinda want to take a 3 day nap? Is this adulting? I have no idea. Its like trying to navigate yourself through some sort of lost labyrinthian limbo. Its winter but its still not Christmas so my over indulgence in chocolate yule logs and Tunnocks tea cakes is completely premature but, what else is there? Long gone are the days sweating it out in the gym preparing for that epic holiday to the sun, now the only exercise I get is running up the stairs to get money out of my purse for the chinese delivery. And then theres the thirst you get on a Saturday night, and you know you shouldn’t be drinking because Christmas is coming and your liver isn’t going to be too pleased but then you remember that the working week is basically impossible to endure without a few therapeutic tipples.
Getting dressed is a mammoth expedition and not just because its teeth chatteringly freezing but also because your wardrobe is an absolute mess and consists of questionable crop tops, straw hats and booty shorts with cosy jumpers, fluffy socks and woolly scarves thrown on top. Whats a girl to do? Its too early to go Christmas shopping but too late to have this few items of clothing appropriate for winter. Its also the time of year where the weather loves to wreak havoc on your internet connection which absolutely ruins your plans of ordering another chinese and sneaking away from your family to eat it in your room while you watch a whole season of Power. Although positive polly would probably pipe up now and say at least it doesn’t make your procrastination any worse when your attempting to study but then again theres always those random games you’ve downloaded on your phone and never get the chance to play, right?
Summer seems like a distant magical illusion in my mind, was I even on holidays a mere three months ago? On a beach, in a bikini you say? I wouldn’t even dare attempt to walk around the house without my dressing gown on right now for fear of getting frostbite. And thank god for that because then no one notices how many selection boxes I’ve actually eaten. I don’t care if they’re “for the kids” they’re tasty. Then Facebook decides to add
insult to injury reminding you that “one year ago today” you graduated college, reminding you of all those carefree, vodka fuelled nights you spent in good clubs with good friends when the closest thing you’ve been to “carefree” lately has been deciding you will book a morning off work to go get your car nct’d. Is this adulting? Cause if it is is, thanks for the opportunity, but no thanks.
And isn’t winter such a “couples” month? Yeah in the summer being single is great craic and you can do what you want when you want while all your attached friends look on in envy but now its you who’s jealous looking at all their cosy cuddled up snaps in front of the fire drinking hot chocolates and watching old movies. You wouldn’t normally think twice about that guy who plays for the local football team and singlehandedly slept with every woman/girl/sheep in the village but damnit! Your sick of the couple goals hashtags and the Netflix but no chill marathons. Why should we have to suffer because we say no to every guy unless he ticks each of the 26 boxes on our list?
On that note, should I block out this rank reality by blasting out a Girls Aloud playlist or would Green Day do a better job? I could always make a salad to bring to work for lunch tomorrow, or will I just use one of the Burger King vouchers in my bag and get two chicken royales for the price of one? Will I actually get up when my alarm goes off so I can have a proper breakfast before college or will I just lie in bed staring aimlessly at my phone for another 10 minutes? Will I text him back despite his dangerously low maturity levels or will I just block him and be done with it? Night in with your cats catching up on Catfish or night out with your friends catching your crush kissing your nemesis?
Too many decisions, too much confusion. See you closer to Christmas guys, I’m going into hibernation.